


Keith's Birthday Week

by kotoriqueen



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Past, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Keith's Birthday Week 2017, Self-Sacrifice, Spoiler Warning: Don't Read if you haven't watched S4, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 05:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12404457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotoriqueen/pseuds/kotoriqueen
Summary: Welcome to Keith's Birthday Week, where I write the prompts the day they come out and angst is everywhere!(Disclaimer: bring tissues because I wish I had them when I was writing these prompts out.)--Day One:BondsDay Two:IdentityDay Three:HomeDay Four:Past/FutureDay Five:Just Keith ThingsDay Six:Birthday!!Day Seven:Free Day





	1. Day 1; October 18th: Bonds

“ _I don’t know why I’m that way.._ ”

“ _Maybe.. I’m naturally untrusting because my mom left me..?_ ”

“ _And so instead of letting people into my life, I push them away before_ they  _can reject_ me _..._ ”

Keith had been thinking about leaving since Shiro came back. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, considering Shiro hasn’t regained control of the Black Lion, but Keith feels that Shiro would be able to pilot her once again. It just took a little bit of time, and,  _hey_ , Shiro only tried  _once_. If he tried a couple more times, Black  _should_ warm up to him again and let him pilot her.

Black doesn’t talk to Keith like Red does, and now that Lance pilots Red, Red doesn’t talk to much to Keith anymore. He lost that bond when they playing  _Musical Chairs: Lion Edition_.

Keith had been thinking how  _leadership_ isn’t a quality he sees in himself. It didn’t matter if Shiro saw something before his disappeared, or if Black sees something in him when she lets him pilot her. None of that matters if  _he_ didn’t see it in  _himself_. He’s messed up several times since his time as a leader, and since Shiro came back, he’s been calling shots. No one is complaining though, especially not Keith, because Shiro was the original leader of Voltron and it should stay that way.

After he had went on a mission with the Blades, and Shiro was able to fly Black again, and they were able to form Voltron together with no other issues, Keith realizes he shouldn’t be on the ship any longer. He’s messed up before Shiro was found, and messed up several times even  _with_ Shiro as a leader. He saw the look everyone gave him during a battle with the Galra, that nearly cost lives of rebel fighters. The only bright side was that Shiro was able to fly Black again, but the others didn’t seem to agree.

The only thing they seemed to agree on was Keith leaving to continue on his training with the Blades. After Shiro hugged him  _good-bye_ , a group hug had been initiated and he was tackled by literally  _everyone_  from Pidge to Coran and Allura, to even the  _mice_. It had been a good feeling at the time, but when he turned his back to prepare to leave, his smile faded into a frown.

_Why didn’t they stop me._

_They must have wanted me gone_ that  _badly._

_They don’t need me anymore._

He feels tears stinging at his eyes, but he quickly wipes them away and continues preparing to leave. He doesn’t know how long he’ll be with the Blades – could be months to half a year – but he knows that his stuff being in his room would be a burden for the rest of them if he  _doesn’t_ come back.

He’s going through his things, and he finds a stack of pictures when Pidge had managed to make something like a camera phone. She had made copies for everyone, even copies of pictures that didn’t have that person in them. On the top of the pile is a group photo; Shiro, Coran, Allura, him, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, with the mice on Pidge’s shoulder, back before  _Black Paladin Keith_  was a thing and probably still an idea fresh in Shiro’s mind.

“ _Get over here, mullet! We’re doing a group photo!”_

“ _What for?”_

“ _What do you mean_ ‘what for’ _?! Obviously for memories. Duh.”_

“ _Don’t be such a stick in the mud. Come over here!”_

“ _Alright. Fine.”_

Keith’s smile is small when he stares at the picture. He remembers as if the photo was taken yesterday, and  _also_ remembers that this was before he found out he was  _Galra_.

Ever since he found out part of his heritage, and why he had the knife in the first place, it seemed like everyone pushed him away now. He gets why; Galra have killed Allura’s family, the rest of the Altean race, captured Pidge’s family, and were the reason the rest of them were away from Earth. But Keith hadn’t known he was Galra until he went through the Blades’ trial and unlocked his blade.

“ _That only happens if Galra blood runs through your veins.._ ”

_\---_

“ _Whoa, wait. You’re Galra? So Keith’s part alien. That’s.. cool.”_

“ _Oh, so, Keith gets to experience something new and cool about him. Typical.”_

“ _Keith, this doesn’t change how you are as a person. You’re still the Red Paladin of Voltron.”_

“ _I disagree. I do not want any Galra on my castle.”_

Keith winces from remembering how Allura acting towards him that day. He feels his eyes burn, and this time he can’t stop the tears from spilling and flowing down his cheeks. He takes his a breath; shaky and he wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his Marmora uniform. Everything had changed when he told them he was Galra, even when it didn’t change him as a person. But Allura was the rightful owner of the castle, and her castle, her rules. That’s probably why he has an ugly scar down his shoulder, and why it causes him trouble now because he refused a healing pod and let it heal on its own.

Keith has seen how some aliens had reacted to the Marmora helping them out. If only they knew he was Galra. Then they would think twice about helping Voltron out.

_I have to leave._

_They don’t need me here._

_If someone else found out I’m part Galra.._

_..It would ruin the whole coalition._

\---

When Voltron’s in trouble, and the planet they were on is a ticking time bomb ready to explode, Matt had said they couldn’t break through Haggar’s magic.

“ _Not with our weapons_.”

He hears Matt shouting, and hears him telling him  _not_ to go through with this. As Keith speeds up, needing to hit the ship Haggar’s on  _fast_ , he flashes back to the good times he has had with the paladins. All the good times flood his mind. But as he’s about to hit the ship, Keith takes in a breath, shuts his eyes and braces for impact.

Someone got to it first, and saved the life of not  _only_ the paladins and the universes that would have been hit by that bomb, but they saved Keith’s life as well. It’s nice to have Lotor wanting to be on their side now, but Keith won’t lie if he didn’t feel a  _little_ upset from not being able to save the paladins like he originally planned.

That sacrifice he was going to make, he would have no regrets. Thousands of lives would have been saved at the cost of his own. And to Keith, that would have been worth it.

\---

Lotor’s in captivity, after being talked to by Allura and Shiro. He’s secure in a cell with handcuffs - “You shouldn’t cuff me,” he warned. “I can break free.” - Allura took that warning and handcuffed him to a pole in the ground that was inside the cell he’s in. They  _still_ don’t know if they should trust him or not, so for now, they’ll play it safe and keep him locked up.

“Now is not the time for celebration,” Shiro announces. “We were thankful enough that Lotor came to our aid, but just because of this, we don’t know if we should trust him or not. I understand that Zarkon wants him killed on sight, so we know he’s been banished from the Galra empire. Even with him not being a threat to us at this moment, Zarkon is still alive, and Haggar will come back kicking, so we are not out of the woods yet.

“That being said, we do need to continue training and be not  _one step ahead_ , but  _ten steps_  ahead of Zarkon and his witch. We’ll continue training first thing tomorrow, and with all the fighters we have gained with the coalition, with us being allies with other rebels and the Blades of Marmora thanks to Matt, Kolivan, and Keith, I’m more than sure we’ll be able to win this war against the Galra.”

“ _Now_ can we celebrate?” Hunk asks after Shiro’s long speech. “I know you said it’s not time for celebration, Shiro, but we should be thankful we’re  _alive_. I made a big dinner for everyone  _and_ dessert _._ We should eat, relax, and share stories.”

“ _And_ be thankful Lotor came when he did. If he didn’t, Keith would have been dead.” Matt adds in, and with that comment, Keith stiffens and the whole room goes quiet. “Oh. You guys didn’t –  _Keith_. Tell them.”

“Tell us  _what_?”

“That he--” Matt didn’t want to be the one to tell the others this, but because Keith was looking down at the ground and going quiet, he didn’t have much of a choice. “ _This idiot_ wanted to  _sacrifice himself_ in order to save all you guys.”

“He  _what_? Keith!”

“What the  _hell_ were you thinking?!”

_Thinking they didn’t need me._

_Thinking my life didn’t matter if it saved thousands._

“ _Not thinking at all_ , probably,” Matt responds for him, arms folding over his chest. “I’m sorry that I had to out you like that, Keith, but from my days at the Garrison, when you were around Shiro, I  _know_ how much you keep things bottled up. You wouldn’t have told  _anyone_. What would have happened if that plan of yours didn’t  _work_?”

“I-- I don’t know..” it’s the first words out of Keith’s mouth. “I just..”

_I just thought your lives are more valuable than my own life._

All the words are caught in his throat, and he knows him sacrificing himself seemed right to him, but not the right way to go to everyone else. The whole room is quiet, waiting for a response from Keith.

“I should-- I should go.” Keith says suddenly, taking in a deep breath and turning to leave the room.

There’s a sound of rushed footsteps. A hand on is wrist. He freezes and turns his head over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Lance’s. He sees the tears that are built up, and he hears Lance suck in a breath.

“No,” it’s the first word out of Lance’s mouth before he tries to speak again without bursting into tears. “No. You’re not allowed to leave us. You left us once, and what did that get us?  _We almost lost a family member_.”

_Family member?_

“Dude, we’ve been more than teammates since the beginning –  _we’re all family here_.” Hunk says, stepping forward to join Lance. Hunk’s hand goes to Keith’s right shoulder. “We deal with each others nonsense, help each other out in our times of need, we make  _jokes_ with one another. Our bonds with one another makes us a  _family_ on this castle. There’s no denying that.”

_A.. family..?_

“You have been a second brother to me since we met,” Pidge adds in. “Ever since the Garrison days. You knew me as Katie, rather than Pidge back then, but whenever Shiro and Matt were caught up in studying, we used to hang out  _so much_. You joked with me back then, even when you didn’t realize it. And when we were launched into space? You and Shiro were the only ones who knew who I really was before I told anyone else. Even if you guys didn’t realize it was me.

“My point is, you never treated me any differently. You still joked with me, and during the late hours of the night where I felt like I reached a dead end in trying to find my family, you were always awake. I never wanted to bother Shiro, but I was more comfortable with  _you_ anyway because I’ve known you for longest.” Pidge continues on, tears building up in her eyes. “When I found Matt’s grave before I realized his and our dads code, I broke down because I thought I lost my  _family_. If I would have lost you..? I don’t know  _what_ that would have done to me, Keith. I probably would have tried to revive you and killed you myself. You’re an idiot for the stunt you pulled. You’re not allowed to die, Keith. We’re not biological family, but you’re still a brother to me and I care too much about you to let you die.”

_Brother?_

_Cares.. too much..?_

“Keith,” Shiro steps forward now, making Pidge, Hunk, and Lance move off to the side. Keith’s breath hitches at the look on Shiro’s face. He doesn’t look stern; there’s a sad look on his face and even Keith can see the tears building up in Shiro’s eyes. “you mean a lot to me. You mean a lot to  _all of us_. Your life isn’t meaningless to us. Never has, never will be. If I would have lost you because you thought it was the only way to save us, I would have  _never forgave myself_. As a leader to this team, that doesn’t mean I should allow my teammates to think it’s okay to die to protect me or the other members of it.

“With us being family on this castle, we all want to protect each other and take a bullet for certain people. We express that in different ways, and talk about it, not  _rush into danger_  and be okay with  _dying in battle_  for the ones we love.” Shiro continues. “The Garrison is a military school, and put that the idea of dying in battle is worth it if it meant for protecting several lives. But up here in space it’s different. Voltron means working together as a  _team_ , and this team is a  _family_ , not just people we have to put up with just because we’re all living together on the same ship. Our bonds have gotten stronger since the first time we came on this ship, to the point that when we win this war with the Galra, and we all go back to our families.. we’d find  _someway_ to see each other.”

_Back to their families._

_I have no.. real family._

“I know I have said some real awful things, Keith, and no apology is strong enough to heal the damage that I have done,” Allura says. “When you paladins came onto this ship, I didn’t know what to expect, and finding out you were Galra, I felt as if I was betrayed like my father had been betrayed by Zarkon once before. I was worried – worried that you’d turn your back on us and betray  _us_. But I realized that I was wrong, and now that I want nothing more but to keep you on this ship. And in Pidge’s words: If you would have died out there, we would have revived you and killed you for worrying us so much.”

“You  _did_ promise you would come back. Though if you would have came back as a  _corpse_ , we most likely would have frozen your body,” Coran adds in. “Until we would find a way to revive you. The Princess and I have learned a lot about you Earthlings and your little quirks. I especially like how we would always find you on the training deck when we needed you. I can’t tell you how many times I went to the training deck, expecting you to be there after you left with the Blades. I most likely would have went mad if you would have died for our sake.”

Keith takes in a breath. Then another. His breathing is shaky and there’s tears stinging at his eyes. A hiccup leaves him and suddenly he’s crying; tears streaming down hot cheeks and he’s sniffling, trying to control it. He never had a real family; his mother left him, and he barely knew his father before he disappeared from his life. He’s been an orphan for a long time, and in and out of foster homes to  _really know_ what a family was like. He remembers telling himself he’ll never find a family, that he’ll be alone forever.

And now that he’s crying, everyone joined in for a group hug and he buries his face into the crook of  _someones_  neck – he can’t tell whose from vision blurry with tears – he realizes something:

_He’s found his family._

\---

_Dear Past Keith,_

_Remember how I said that I’ll never find the right family?_

_Remember when I said I’ll be alone forever?_

_Well.. I got news for you._

**I found my family.**


	2. Day 2; October 19th: Identity

**i·den·ti·ty**

_the fact of being who or what a person or thing is._

\---

“ _It doesn’t matter where I came from. I know who I am_.”

\---

“ _You’ve awoken the blade!_ ”

“ _The only way this is possible is if Galra blood runs through your veins_.”

\---

He  _thought_ he knew who he was. But after the trials, he had so many more questions and no answers.

Shiro treated him no different after he witnessed hi awakening the blade, but Keith can tell he was scared of him. He’s known Shiro for years; it wasn’t hard to read his emotions. Keith doesn’t blame Shiro for being afraid. After all, the Galra took his arm and put him through a lot of emotional and physical trauma that can _not_ be healed. He’ll just avoid Shiro as much as possible, even if Shiro would rather not avoid him.

Lance and Hunk didn’t comment much on the news, and Keith sees the hatred in Pidge’s eyes when he locks eyes with hers. He can’t blame her either. The Galra took her family, and the paladins didn’t know if they were dead or alive. She has reason to believe that Matt’s alive, at least, and Keith doesn’t doubt that both Matt and Sam were alive. But nevertheless, the Galra took them away from her and she has every right to hate the Galra race, and has every right to hate  _him_.

Allura – Allura, on the other hand,  _despised him_  and made that be known. She didn’t want any Galra on the ship, and seemed uneasy about trusting the Blades let alone one of her own  _paladins_ being  _Galra_. Keith doesn’t blame her either, and denied a healing pod treatment for his shoulder because he feels like he’s not allowed to due to his heritage.

But it’s not his fault. It’s  _not his fault_. He  _didn’t know_ he was Galra until now. How could he have known? His mother left him when he was young, and he was given his blade when his father thought it was the right time to hand it over, saying it belonged to Keith’s mother. And back then, he didn’t know what the symbol meant, and or if it had any significant purpose. Until he went on the Galra ship to get Red, and he saw the symbol on the door. He gets bits and pieces of information that could possibly lead him to the answer of who he really was, but there was no definite answer.

Until the trials he took. And he doesn’t regret taking them to learn who he was. Even though the suit made him think that Voltron was more important than finding out who he  _really was_. But Shiro assured him that it was just a mirage the suit made up, for the Blades to try to get Keith to  _give up_. But there’s still a sick feeling in his gut that makes him think that being a paladin, saving lives of thousands, is better than knowing where he came from.

\---

Kolivan had offered him to train with the Marmorites one day, and Keith knows he needs more training to become a better leader. Even with Shiro back, doing the leading for him, Keith needs to learn that discipline Shiro said he needed back then.  _Lead the group_ , he said. Shiro was  _crazy_! He couldn’t lead the group! He already screwed up multiple times. Heck, Lance was a better leader than he was. Shiro should have chose him to lead instead.

“Let me sleep on it,” Keith had said, which raised confusion, Kolivan’s ears twitching as he looked at Keith questioningly. Right, that was an  _Earth term_. Kolivan wouldn’t know what it meant. “Meaning, let me think about it for a day. I’ll think about it while I sleep.”

“Of course,” Kolivan turns around to leave, the door swishing open as he does so. But when he’s halfway out the door, Kolivan’s name slips from Keith’s lips, keeping the Galra there for a little longer. “What is it you need, kit?”

“I just..” Keith’s eyes are locked with Kolivan’s for a moment before Keith looks down at his lap. “Do you know.. what kind of person my mom was?”

Kolivan freezes, eyes widening at the sudden question. He hadn’t known Keith’s mother, though if he had he would have shamed her for leaving a child like Keith on his own. She must have had a good reason for it, but it was still awful to think Keith’s been without her since  _birth_. No kit should experience that sort of pain.

“Unfortunately my answer is no,” Kolivan responds, and he sees the disappointment in Keith’s eyes. Keith grows quiet, and Kolivan decides to add something to his response. “Although I do know this, she must have been a fighter considering how her son turned out to be.”

At this, Keith’s head raises and now confusion is written all over his features. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Kolivan steps back into the room, the door swishing shut. “You’ve been through a lot, have you not? And yet, you still keep fighting on and on. You  _never_ give up. Some Galra kits gain their parents’ abilities as they grow, and I have reason to believe that your mother was a fighter. She never gave up, until she knew your safety was on the line.”

Keith’s frozen as he sits on his bed, eyes wide as he listens to Kolivan’s explanation. Maybe he’s right, but there’s no way he would know for certain. Lips pursed, Keith looks down at his lap once more. The room is quiet now, with Keith trying to take in all that Kolivan says, and try to believe that his mother had good reason to leave him. If it was for his safety, maybe he could grow to understand that.

“She came from fighters, and was born to rebel against Zarkon’s empire,” Kolivan continues on, stepping closer and putting a hand on Keith’s shoulder, causing the red paladin to glance up. “You came from her. You were born to fight, Keith. Whether it’s out here in space for years to come, or from your past life.”

A smile forms on Keith’s face, even though it’s small, “Thanks, Kolivan.”

“You’re welcome. Now get some sleep, kit.”

“..Hey, Kolivan?”

“What is it?”

“As a kid, I had reason to believe my birth was a mistake,” Keith says. “because my mom left me, and then my dad, and no one else wanted me. I just thought I wasn’t meant to be on this Earth, but..” Keith takes in a breath, his smile widening just slightly. “But.. because of being in space, I know who I am. I’m a paladin of Voltron, born to protect and save lives. And because of the Blades of Marmora, I know I’m a fighter. The trials let that part of me be known. I still have a long way to go, but if I go on missions with you or the other Blades, I know I’ll become the leader I don’t see in myself but people see in me.”

“Does that mean..?”

“I’ll join you guys,” Keith answers. “I’ll join and train alongside you guys on missions. If it helps me realize I’m a leader then.. It’ll be worth it in the end.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Now get some sleep.”

“Good night, Kolivan.”

“Sleep well, kit.”


	3. Day 3; October 20th: Home

Keith’s been in more homes than he could count on his fingers. He’s been alone for all his life, so he recalls, from his mother leaving him when he barely got to know her, and his father just suddenly  _vanished_ , leaving him alone in the shack in the middle of the desert that he called his home after he left the Garrison.

Before he met Shiro, before going to the Garrison was an option, he was put into foster care, taken in by several families, until they realized he preferred to be alone than go to social events or that he had issues that couldn’t be fixed within a day. Young Keith thought he’d never find a place to call his  _home_ , or find a group of people to call his  _family_. Young Keith thought it would be impossible for him to find a place to call his own, except for the shack in the desert, but even then, it wasn’t much of a home to him. A home was supposed to make you feel  _warm_ , not cold, and  _definitely not_ make you feel like you’re all alone. But, for Keith, that’s what the shack felt like to him; cold, alone, and with how dark it got with very minimal lighting coming from candles, it was  _depressing_.

\---

When he’s launched into space, given the occupation of a  _paladin_  and having to live in a castle with an  _actual bed_  than a beat up futon with springs ready to stab his body if he moved too much. The beds on the castle were comfortable, the pillows feeling like clouds, and the blankets warm. And yet, Keith found himself tossing and turning, the same way his younger self had done when he was taken in by another foster family. He finds himself laying on his side, staring at the wall across from him, unable to sleep and alone with his thoughts.

There’s a faint light in the bedroom; enough for a person to sleep peacefully and not be bothered by bright lighting, yet Keith feels somewhat sad. And he  _still_ feels like he’s alone, even with several others just rooms away from his own.

He finds himself crying himself to sleep that night. Not understanding why he feels so  _sad_.

\---

He’s leaving to train with the Blades of Marmora and  _everyone’s_  emotional. There’s tears and he hears he’ll be missed, even though he believes they’ll forget about him soon enough.

“You’ll come back, right?” Hunk asks, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Yeah, man,  _he’ll come back_!” Lance responds, as if he really knew Keith’s answer right away. “We’re his  _family_ and this is his home as much as it ours. If he doesn’t come back home, we’re dragging him back.”

Keith stares at Lance and Hunk with wide eyes, blinking a few times as he processes those words.  _His family_ and  _his home_ echo through his mind. He feels tears stinging at his eyes, but he shakes him off, holding back his tears, a smile taking place instead.

“Yeah. I’ll come back home.”

\---

“I do believe you need a break, little one,” Kolivan says one day as Keith’s preparing to go train with another Blades member. “Take a vacation from us. Relax and enjoy time with your fellow paladins.”

“But.. aren’t I needed here?” Keith questions, raising an eyebrow. “They’re probably working on gathering people up for the coalition. I’d just be--”

“You won’t be in the way,” Kolivan interrupts, just  _knowing_ what Keith was going to say. Keith shuts his mouth. “They’re your family now, are they not? And the castle is more of a home to you than this base is. You deserve to take a few quintants off to spend time with your family.”

Keith goes to open his mouth again, going to correct Kolivan about how they aren’t his  _actual family_ , just they are as close as a family he could get. But during his days with the paladins, he’s realized that it’s the family his younger self has dreamt of. He lets out a small laugh, a smile on his lips as he looks down at the ground.

“Yeah. Call me if you guys need me.”

“We shall.”

\---

Keith takes a small craft that belongs to the Marmora base to the castle, which he’s unable to find right away, but using the tracker on the communication device Pidge gave him for he left, he’s able to get the coordinates to get to the castle. It takes a while, and he’s thankful there’s no space police to pull him over for speeding with the rate he’s going. It still takes him a couple of hours –  _vargas –_  he mentally corrects himself as he gets closer to the castle. He hasn’t mentioned it to anyone that he was coming back to the castle, but knowing the castles technology, it was going to recognize the space craft. Although if it  _was_  recognized, the defenses aren’t up, which means Allura or Coran knew it belonged to the Marmorites.

When he goes to land, he finds the two Altean’s waiting for him. As expected, the castle  _did_ pick up the ship, and it seems like they had known it was non-threatening and would rather greet Keith on their own.

“I was assuming you wanted to keep your visit a surprise to other paladins, so Coran and I decided to greet you instead,” Allura explains as she walks up to the craft when Keith’s getting out. “The castle picked up the ship, and I knew the Blades of Marmora would tell us first if they were coming. You, on the other hand..”

“Your assumption would be correct. I wanted my visit to be a surprise,” Keith tells them. It’s only half true, though. And since he can’t lie all the well, he tells the other part of the truth. “I didn’t think about sending a message. Kolivan just gave me a few days to relax, but he could call me back any time.”

“Then there is no time to waste!” Coran says, taking Keith’s arm and tugging him along. He makes it so Keith’s standing in front of him, and hands go on Keith’s back, pushing him forward to get him walking. “Everyone is in the lounge. Go and greet them!”

“Wha-- aren’t you guys coming with?”

“I suppose it would look suspicious if we didn’t.” Allura says. “Let’s go.”

Allura and Coran are talking about Keith’s training with the Blades, as well as how Voltron is doing with the coalition. They had just finished their performances, and had earned a lot of respect from many planets and the species that inhabited those planets. Keith’s happy to hear they are doing so well without him, which makes him anxious. And as they get closer and closer to the lounge, he hears laughter and loud talking, which makes his walking pace slow down. They sounded like they were having a good time without him. Maybe they forgot all about him for now. And maybe he’s interrupting them.

He should just.. go back.

“I see that look,” Allura says suddenly making Keith jump. “You’re not interrupting them. I know they have missed you dearly, Keith.”

The door to the lounge is open, and Keith takes a moment to peek inside. Everyone is paying more attention to each other than the door, and it seems like all their backs are turned towards the door besides Pidge, who he sees the top of her head where she sits on the floor. And Shiro, who is leaning on the back of the couch.

He’s learned a lot from training with Marmora, so he decides sneaking up on them would be the best choice. And as soon as Allura and Coran knew what he was doing, they stayed in the hallway, watching him crouch down and sneak up behind Shiro.

“Well, gee, it sounds like you guys are having a good time,” Keith says, causing all the chatter and laughter to die down and heads to turn towards him. “Hey, guys.”

There’s shouts of ‘you came back’, ‘Keith’, and there’s cussing in the middle of all the shouts. Pidge is the first one up, being on the floor, and runs around the couch to tackle Keith in a hug. He looses his balance for a moment but regains it before he hits the floor. Next comes Hunk, who wraps his arms around him from behind, picking him and Pidge up, who had her arms wrapped around his waist from his front.

“See, Hunk? I told you he would come back home,” Lance says with a grin as he steps up to the slowly forming group hug. The two of them lock eyes, a grin on Lance’s face. “Welcome home, mullet.”

“So Keith never lost his mullet?” Matt questions, and Keith’s eyes go from Lance to Matt, who has a  _cocky grin_ on his face and his hands on his hips. “I guess it’s a good look on him. I mean, I can’t imagine Keith with short hair. Longer, possibly, because he’d look nice with a bun. Plus we can braid it.”

“So I leave, and you find your  _brother_?” Keith asks, staring down at Pidge, who looks back up with a wide smile on her face. “For fucks sake, that’s like dealing with  _two Lance’s_. Screw that, I’m going back to the Blades.”

“That’s a joke.. right?” Hunk guesses and Keith looks back with a small smile on his face, and Hunk smiles back, just wider. “ _It is_! See guys, I  _told you_  Keith could make jokes!”

“It’s good to have you back, Keith,” Shiro says as he steps forward to the group. He reaches out a hand, going to the top of Keith’s head and pushes back his hood to ruffle up his hair. “Welcome home.”

Keith doesn’t pull back from the hugs or Shiro ruffling up his hair. He huffs though, a small pout on his lips but doesn’t complain like he would. He’s staring at everyone’s smiles, and he could tell he was  _wrong_  – so so  _wrong_. They haven’t forgotten about him at all. If anything, they missed him a  _lot_ more than when he was leaving. Keith could feel those tears building up in his eyes and his smile widens.

And as tears run down his cheeks, there’s only one thought going through his head:

_I’m home._

\---

_Dear Young Keith,_

_Remember when I said finding a home is like a pipe dream?_

_Something I wouldn’t be able to attain ever?_

_Well.._

_I found my home._

_And it makes me feel warm._

_Makes me feel less alone._

_And most of all.. the people there make me happy – not sad._

_They make the darkness fade away into something brighter._


	4. Day 4; October 21st: Past/Future

“ _I see a pilot before me with a promising future_.”

“ _How can you be so sure?_ ”

A shrug. “ _A gut feeling._ ”

\---

He enrolled into the Garrison. Got in with no trouble. Apparently Officer Shirogane saw something in him he didn’t see himself, and put in a good word with the higher ups. Keith barely remembers how they met now, he just knows he has a  _lot_ to thank Shiro for.

Young Keith would have never thought there was a future for him. His life was filled with disappointments, so he never saw the point in getting excited for the future and daydreaming of future occupations he could have like the other kids. Some kids wanted to be teachers, or doctors, or chefs. Mechanics, astronauts, or firemen. Keith? He just wanted to mean something to someone. To have a family to go home to at the end of the day and unleash all the stress he has from school or work and have them comfort him.

All he had was Shiro. And if it wasn’t for Shiro, he wouldn’t be where he is now.

\---

“ _Shirogane isn’t here to save your rear this time – there’s no future for you if you don’t learn some discipline!_ ”

“ _Then I_ quit _! I’m_ leaving!”

“ _Suit yourself! Whatever it was Shirogane saw in you, sure as hell isn’t there now!_ ”

\---

When he leaves the Garrison, he has little no belongings. Shiro doesn’t have any family close by, so with Keith being the closest person to Shiro, he was given the responsibility to take Shiro’s things; clothes, knick-knacks, books – several things that reminded him of Shiro and only made him regret leaving the Garrison. Whatever Shiro saw in him, Iverson was right:  _It’s not there now_.

Keith knew he shouldn’t have kept his hopes up for the future. And yet, he did, and where did that get him? The only person who believed in him going missing. The only place where he believed he could have a future turned around and bad mouthed Shiro as if he was  _nothing_. Shiro was their  _star pilot_! It made no sense why the Kerberos mission failed because of a  _pilot error_.

Whatever. If the Garrison was trying to sweep their own fuck up under the rug, Keith didn’t need to get his future from them. (If there was still a future out there waiting for him, anyway. Which he doubts.)

\---

“ _Keith.. if I don’t make it out of here.. I want you to lead Voltron._ ”

\---

“ _You have to learn some discipline if you want to lead the group someday._ ”

\---

After all this time – after all his screw ups.. Shiro still had that same faith in him as he did when they first met. And yet, Keith can’t see himself being the leader of Voltron. He can’t see Shiro disappearing from his life again.  _Nothing_ was going to happen Shiro – not if Keith could help it anyway.

Leadership isn’t a quality Keith thinks he has. He knows the Black lion needs a pilot who is a strong leader, and she let him in when Shiro was in trouble, but it was  _only_ because Shiro was in trouble. After all, the lions look out for their paladins in their own ways. Like how Red always came to his rescue if something was wrong. If he so much got a  _paper cut_ on the damn castle, Red would roar as if someone harmed her cub before Keith had to calm her down and tell her he was  _fine_.

He doesn’t see himself as Voltron’s future leader. And if he can help it, that day will never come.

\---

“ _I’m being completely serious when I say, I do NOT want_ you  _to lead me anywhere!_ ”

“ _I don’t want to be the leader! That’s just what Shiro wanted!_ ”

\---

“ _Shiro wanted you to be his successor, didn’t he?_ ”

\---

If he didn’t open his mouth, maybe they’d still be looking for Shiro.  _Maybe_ they could have found him, brought him back, and put him back in charge. The future came by fast, and as much as Keith tried to change the fate of the universe, to where Shiro was still  _there_ , it came back to bite him in the ass because  _now_ he has to lead Voltron.

He knows  _nothing_ about being a leader. And when Black ignores everybody  _but him_  when they are trying to reawaken here, he begs and pleads her  _not_ to do this and to choose someone else.

The future just knows how to make him miserable.

\---

“ _The war is over, thanks to all the paladins efforts, and the help of everyone in the universe._

 _We couldn’t have done it without you._ ”

\---

Shiro’s back. Pidge got her family back. The Galra are conquered, and the planets are Galra free. They need to rebuild, but with the help of Voltron, it shouldn’t be a problem. After that, everyone would be going back home to their families. They talk of they can’t wait to see them again, how they can spend holidays with them, and wonder how much of the past they missed. Wonder what the future holds for them now that Voltron won’t be needed anymore. Will they all stay friends? Will they keep in touch? Only time could tell.

But knowing how much the future has disappointed him so far, Keith doesn’t see him being able to keep in touch with anybody. He sees himself staying in his shack, keeping out of touch with everyone as they go back to their families. Without a doubt the government would find out he’s part alien and would want to run tests on him. Purple splotches had formed on his skin over the years, which Coran and Allura assume it’s from stress and multiple injuries. The healing pod couldn’t make those marks go away, but thankfully enough, he’s able to hide them under his clothes, with only some peeking out from underneath his collar or from under his sleeves if his jacket isn’t present.

“So,” Shiro suddenly says, a hand landing on Keith’s shoulder making him jump. “I guess we’ll be staying with the Holt’s.”

Wait. What?

“Sam says Iverson’s going to have a heart attack for saying we’re dead,” Shiro continues. “I’d love to see the look on his face when he realizes a dead person and four cadets saved millions of lives  _including_ the ones on Earth.”

“We’d probably end up becoming instructors,” Pidge chimes in. “Now  _that_ will be interesting.”

Instructors?  _Seriously_? No way in hell the Garrison was going to allow a drop out like Keith become an  _instructor_.

\---

“ _The Garrison is now under new management – please welcome Princess Allura of planet Altea,_

 _and her royal_ _adviser_ _, Coran_.”

\---

“ _And say hello to your new instructors -_

_Takashi Shirogane, Hunk Garrett, Pidge Gunderson, Lance McClain,_

_and Keith Kogane._ ”

\---

“You look like a child playing dress-up in those instructor clothes, Pidge,” Lance teases as the paladins get together for a group photo.

Allura and Coran are present, as well as Pidge’s family, ready to take a group picture with the paladins as well. After the Garrison swept the Kerberos mission under the rug, and ended up declaring deaths of instructors and cadets when they had  _no solid proof_ , those higher up were terminated. And with the paladins having had saved Earth from the Galra, they had became new instructors, regardless of their knowledge they gained in the Garrison. Each one of them would teach their own subject, but they would also teach students piloting and hand to hand combat, if by chance they’d ever have to fight aliens themselves.

“Be quiet. You don’t look good with hats,” Pidge remarks, making Lance gasp in mock hurt. “Couldn’t we come up with our own uniforms? These look so  _boring_.”

“Yeah, our paladin armor was a lot better,” Hunk agrees. “Can we like.. bedazzle it somehow? Maybe put our names on the back.”

“Now  _there’s_ an idea!”

Shiro chuckles as he watches the three of them talk about how they could make their uniforms look  _cooler_. The Garrison trio was still a trio, whether as cadets or instructors. He takes a quick look around and realizes someone is missing:  _Keith_.

“Uh.. has anyone seen Keith?”

\---

 _Dear Past Keith_ ,

_The future has been good.. and bad for you. But mostly bad._

_There’s been more disappointments than surprises,_

_but you shouldn’t give up on thinking of the future._

_You lost people, but you gained several more._

_You’ve been stressed, depressed.._

_You’ve felt like there’s no future for you.._

\---

“Hey, Mullet!”

Keith jumps from where he sat on top of Red; lions perched and surrounding the castle, where it’s parked behind the Garrison. He looks down, seeing everyone down below staring up at him.

“You’re not allowed to brood anymore!” Pidge shouts up at him. “Get your ass down here!”

“Katie--” “Pidge--”

“I’m not brooding!” Keith shouts back, interrupting the Holt’s and Shiro from scolding Pidge for her language. (It was just  _ass_  anyway. She’s said far worse in space.) “Be down in a minute!”

\---

_The future is terrifying to think of._

_You might think it’s not worth thinking about._

_But it’s worth thinking about._

_Because you’ve gained amazing qualities thinking of what you could do in the future._

_(Not to mention amazing friends, who stay by your side,_

_no matter what type of future lies for you.)_

\---

“Keith’s going to be co-instructing my leadership course,” Shiro says as Keith joins the group.

“ _What_? I never agreed to that.”

“You’re telling me, that with the past you have experienced,” Shiro raises his eyebrow at Keith, arms folded over his chest. “you  _still_ don’t see that leadership quality in you?”

“I never said I didn’t _see it_ ,” Keith responds with a shrug. “Past Keith would have told you that you were crazy for thinking I had any leadership in me at all. I see it in me, and past Keith has learned a thing or two thanks to you. In fact, if it wasn’t for you, I doubt I’d be here where I am now. I have a lot to thank you for, Shiro, and I still don’t think I can thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.”

“Keith..”

“ _But_ , I still think you’re crazy,  _especially_ when you think I’m going to be a _co-instructor_  for a course that’s ran by a  _six year old_.”

The group goes quiet. Shiro groans and then they start laughing a little.

“Can we  _drop that_!”

“At least future Keith learned how to  _joke_ ,” Lance teases, a wide grin plastered on his face as he slings an arm over Keith’s shoulders. “Let’s see if he learned anything else--”

“What are you--”

“I say ‘Vol’, you say ‘Tron’! Vol-”

Keith goes quiet, wide eyes blinking at Lance, seeing the hope twinkle in his eyes. “Vol.. tron..?”

And then that hope dies, and Lance sighs loudly.

“Okay, can my course be teaching people chants? Because I feel as if that is  _really important_.”

“No, Lance.”

\---

_Yeah._

_The future is definitely something I’ll be thinking more hard about from now on._


End file.
